I am living now near the Port of Haifa. Moved in February, had a birthday at the new place, started a new Ulpan (intensive Hebrew study) at the University of Haifa. Miraculously placed into level daled, which is the 4th level after finishing something like level 1.5. It's very hard now, but I am working harder; I think I needed a bigger challenge and also maybe being in a University where you recieve a grade makes a difference and where there are higher expectations... and also because I precisely need to pass this level with an 85% or better to be able to get into the Univeristy to do a Master's Degree.

Anyways, yesterday had a conversation at Shabat dinner about non-kosher restaurants in Israel, my friend ordering bacon and eggs really surprized me although I should stop being surprized... I catered an event with shrimps wrapped in bacon. I was explained to that it was a celebration of the helonism (being non-religious) .... maybe like a celebration of freedom of some sorts. I know people celebrate freedom of religion, and now this is freedom from religion (maybe it's where you feel that religion is being imposed on you?) I will ask.
I also was thinking that in some ways, it's like Christians in America, that are not religious and don't believe in Christmas, but celebrate it, it's become a custom and not a religious holiday for them. Same here with the holidays I think. What's the difference and what are the implications of Israelis celebrating our holidays as a religious holiday versus a custom?

Another side-note about the Ulpan, it gives me a reason to get up in the morning. Sometimes it's kind of lonely here.... I think of death sometimes, sorry to say... I made myself promise not to, but the thought enters my mind once in a while... to me it's an indication of not having found myself yet, not really having enough close friends, not having family near by, not having a loved one.... Perhaps having someone to wake up with would fix it, so I hope. A part of me thinks that I should really be able to fix it myself before I meet someone... so that I am not coming into a relationship with such a 'problem'. I think it would add an extra weight on the new person. So, ok I will fight it myself, with the help of friends :) Yesterday I had the feeling when I was with friends, two artist-friends. It's so dead here near the Port on Friday and Saturday, almost not a soul... The businesses are closed and very few people live here.... It's a very surreal feeling - I loose a sense of place and time - I feel like I could be at a different era and I am not sure 'where' I am. I feel disconnected and alone.... and even watching my friend paint another felt like a movie that I was watching but not being a part of. I took some photos. I don't think I can upload at this time.